{"id":1228,"date":"2024-12-03T14:25:00","date_gmt":"2024-12-03T14:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=1228"},"modified":"2024-12-03T14:25:00","modified_gmt":"2024-12-03T14:25:00","slug":"book-review-things-i-never-told-my-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=1228","title":{"rendered":"Book Review: Things I Never Told My Father"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Things I Never Told My Father<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

by Jeffrey L. Carrier<\/p>\n

Genre:<\/strong> Memoir \/ LGBTQ<\/p>\n

ISBN: <\/strong>9798990311701<\/p>\n

Print Length:<\/strong> 348 pages<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Reviewed by Eric Mayrhofer<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>Jeffrey L. Carrier\u2019s story fits right in with other homespun legends of our time.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Some of our favorite stories focus on how one ordinary person\u2019s exploits can ripple outward, irrevocably altering history. Take Frodo Baggins. He is one of the smallest voices in Middle Earth, yet his choices shape the survival of all. To stay closer to the reality we know, Forrest Gump is one person who most write off when he\u2019s a child. Despite their dismissal, he grows up to weave through some of America\u2019s most iconic events.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Jeffrey L. Carrier, author of the memoir Things I Never Told My Father<\/em>, isn\u2019t like Frodo or Forrest in their stature or the specific obstacles they face. He does, however, live a similarly average life that is uplifted by this gently beautiful book. It\u2019s decidedly not about the mark he makes on the world. By showcasing others\u2019 lives\u2014those of his mentors, friends, and family members\u2014with compassion, Carrier\u2019s story instead becomes a look at how the people who weave in and out of our lives change us in remarkable ways. Readers accompany him from his birth in Tennessee through tragedy, family hardship, and his own experience as a gay man moving through a world that isn\u2019t always kind.<\/p>\n

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With simple prose and a gentle lilt, Carrier\u2019s folksy style captivates from the start. In the opening page alone, he hooks readers with a matter-of-fact description of his near-death experience, and his reluctance to seek help: \u201cI have health insurance, but it comes with a $10,000 deductible. If an ambulance transported me to the hospital, I\u2019d be subjected to a series of tests and probably admitted, perhaps even taken to the ICU\u2026If I survived, I\u2019d be left with a huge medical bill.\u201d<\/em><\/strong> His pragmatism is gut-wrenching. You could imagine millions of other people in America having this argument in their heads as they feel a stroke happening. Carrier feels unique in his clarity, though, and it makes this and countless other scenes so much more emotional as a result.<\/p>\n

This includes his father\u2019s quick remarrying following his mother\u2019s death\u2014\u201cI was not angry with him because I understood his motivations, but I did feel that I had been pushed to the side\u2026He had gone through such agony during my mother\u2019s illness and death, and he needed some joy in his life.\u201d <\/em><\/strong>He offers the same empathy to his stepmother, even when she treats him with cold contempt, saying, \u201cMy stepmother was never very kind to me, but I think I can understand why. Her children\u2019s troubled lives cause her a lot of anguish. My father never had to worry about me.\u201d <\/em><\/strong>In these sparkling moments throughout the book, Carrier\u2019s abundance of compassion and forgiveness makes your heart want to burst.<\/p>\n

Carrier\u2019s propensity for understanding and compassion can occasionally weigh down the book though too. While deep dives into his friends\u2019 and important family members\u2019 lives are welcome, giving his supporters emotional heft that makes later chapters more powerful for having the extra context, they can feel slightly overwhelming. This is truer in earlier pages, as we spend chapters on Bulah, a maternal figure; his sharp-eyed Aunt Ginny; and his grandmothers. It also pops up in passages describing his first forays into New York City, interrupting the wonder and discovery of an emerging gay man first experiencing Manhattan. At first, these episodes and asides make the book read more like an autobiography\u2014a bit broader than a typical memoir, a little less laser-focused\u2014making readers question how these exquisite snippets build into the satisfying whole.\u00a0<\/p>\n

They do, though. Carrier\u2019s affinity for the elderly makes him more accepting of the failures of age and the unfairness of loss. The unfortunate distance he experiences with his father and his stepmother\u2019s cruelty teaches him to coexist with adversity and be open to all. Even when it seems like the anecdotes of a first-grade teacher become too much, a touching insight comes along to remind readers that each person \u201chad a hand in making me the person I grew up to be.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

By the last page, Carrier\u2019s approach forms a sweeping personal epic with a sum greater than\u2014and elevated by\u2014all of its glistening, heartwarming parts.<\/p>\n

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Thank you for reading Eric Mayrhofer\u2019s book review of Things I Never Told My Father <\/em>by Jeffrey L. Carrier! If you liked what you read, please spend some more time with us at the links below.<\/p>\n

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The post Book Review: Things I Never Told My Father<\/a> appeared first on Independent Book Review<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Things I Never Told My Father by Jeffrey L. Carrier Genre: Memoir \/ LGBTQ ISBN: 9798990311701 Print Length: 348 pages Buy from Amazon Buy from Bookshop Reviewed by Eric Mayrhofer Jeffrey L. Carrier\u2019s story fits right in with other homespun legends of our time. Some of our favorite stories focus on how one ordinary person\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":1229,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bookreviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1228"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1229"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}