{"id":2658,"date":"2025-04-26T01:27:46","date_gmt":"2025-04-26T01:27:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=2658"},"modified":"2025-04-26T01:27:46","modified_gmt":"2025-04-26T01:27:46","slug":"by-advice-of-counsel-by-p-g-wodehouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=2658","title":{"rendered":"By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>By Advice of Counsel by <a href=\"https:\/\/quizlit.org\/jeeves-and-the-unbidden-guest-by-p-g-wodehouse\">P. G. Wodehouse<\/a> was published in 1914. It appears in the collection The Man Upstairs and Other Stories. <\/p>\n<p><em>This post may contain affiliate links that earn us a commission at no extra cost to you.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse<\/h2>\n<div class=\"epyt-video-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"__youtube_prefs__ epyt-facade no-lazyload\"><button class=\"epyt-facade-play\"><\/button><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse<\/h3>\n<p>T<small>HE<\/small>\u00a0traveller champed meditatively at his steak. He paid no attention to the altercation which was in progress between the waiter and the man at the other end of the dingy room. The sounds of strife ceased. The waiter came over to the traveller\u2019s table and stood behind his chair. He was ruffled.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018If he meant lamb,\u2019 he said, querulously, \u2018why didn\u2019t he say \u201clamb\u201d, so\u2019s a feller could hear him? I thought he said \u201cham\u201d, so I brought ham. Now Lord Percy gets all peevish.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>He laughed bitterly. The traveller made no reply.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018If people spoke distinct,\u2019 said the waiter, \u2018there wouldn\u2019t be half the trouble there is in the world. Not half the trouble there wouldn\u2019t be. I shouldn\u2019t be here, for one thing. In this restawrong, I mean.\u2019 A sigh escaped him.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I shouldn\u2019t,\u2019 he said, \u2018and that\u2019s the truth. I should be getting up when I pleased, eating and drinking all I wanted, and carrying on same as in the good old days. You wouldn\u2019t think, to look at me, would you now, that I was once like the lily of the field?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>The waiter was a tall, stringy man, who gave the impression of having no spine. In that he drooped, he might have been said to resemble a flower, but in no other respect. He had sandy hair, weak eyes set close together, and a day\u2019s growth of red stubble on his chin. One could not see him in the lily class.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018What I mean to say is, I didn\u2019t toil, neither did I spin. Ah, them was happy days! Lying on me back, plenty of tobacco, something cool in a jug\u2014\u2019<\/p>\n<p>He sighed once more.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Did you ever know a man of the name of Moore? Jerry Moore?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>The traveller applied himself to his steak in silence.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Nice feller. Simple sort of feller. Big. Quiet. Bit deaf in one ear. Straw-coloured hair. Blue eyes. \u2018Andsome, rather. Had a \u2018ouse just outside of Reigate. Has it still. Money of his own. Left him by his pa. Simple sort of feller. Not much to say for himself. I used to know him well in them days. Used to live with him. Nice feller he was. Big. Bit hard of hearing. Got a sleepy kind of grin, like this\u2014something.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>The traveller sipped his beer in thoughtful silence.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I reckon you never met him,\u2019 said the waiter. \u2018Maybe you never knew Gentleman Bailey, either? We always called him that. He was one of these broken-down Eton or \u2018Arrer fellers, folks said. We struck up a partnership kind of casual, both being on the tramp together, and after a while we \u2018appened to be round about Reigate. And the first house we come to was this Jerry Moore\u2019s. He come up just as we was sliding to the back door, and grins that sleepy grin. Like this\u2014something. \u201c\u2018Ullo!\u201d he says. Gentleman kind of gives a whoop, and hollers, \u201cIf it ain\u2019t my old pal, Jerry Moore! Jack,\u201d he says to me, \u201cthis is my old pal, Mr Jerry Moore, wot I met in \u2018appier days down at Ramsgate one summer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018They shakes hands, and Jerry Moore says, \u201cIs this a friend of yours, Bailey?\u201d looking at me. Gentleman introduces me. \u201cWe are partners,\u201d he says, \u201cpartners in misfortune. This is my friend, Mr Roach.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dCome along in,\u201d says Jerry.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018So we went in, and he makes us at home. He\u2019s a bachelor, and lives all by himself in this desirable \u2018ouse.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well, I seen pretty quick that Jerry thinks the world of Gentleman. All that evening he\u2019s acting as if he\u2019s as pleased as Punch to have him there. Couldn\u2019t do enough for him.\u00a0<em>It<\/em>\u00a0was a bit of\u00a0<em>all<\/em>\u00a0right, I said to meself. It was, too.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Next day we gets up late and has a good breakfast, and sits on the lawn and smokes. The sun was shining, the little birds was singing, and there wasn\u2019t a thing, east, west, north, or south, that looked like work. If I had been asked my address at that moment, on oath, I wouldn\u2019t have hesitated a second. I should have answered, \u201cNo. 1, Easy Street.\u201d You see, Jerry Moore was one of these slow, simple fellers, and you could tell in a moment what a lot he thought of Gentleman. Gentleman, you see, had a way with him. Not haughty, he wasn\u2019t. More affable, I should call it. He sort of made you feel that all men are born equal, but that it was awful good of him to be talking to you, and that he wouldn\u2019t do it for everybody. It went down proper with Jerry Moore. Jerry would sit and listen to him giving his views on things by the hour. By the end of the first day I was having visions of sitting in that garden a white-baked old man, and being laid out, when my time should come, in Jerry\u2019s front room.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>He paused, his mind evidently in the past, among the cigars and big breakfasts. Presently he took up his tale.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018This here Jerry Moore was a simple sort of feller. Deafies are like that. Ever noticed? Not that Jerry was a real deafy. His hearing was a bit off, but he could foller you if you spoke to him nice and clear. Well, I was saying, he was kind of simple. Liked to put in his days pottering about the little garden he\u2019d made for himself, looking after his flowers and his fowls, and sit of an evening listening to Gentleman \u2018olding forth on Life. He was a philosopher, Gentleman was. And Jerry took everything he said as gospel. He didn\u2019t want no proofs. \u2018E and the King of Denmark would have been great pals. He just sat by with his big blue eyes getting rounder every minute and lapped it up.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Now you\u2019d think a man like that could be counted on, wouldn\u2019t you? Would he want anything more? Not he, you\u2019d say. You\u2019d be wrong. Believe me, there isn\u2019t a man on earth that\u2019s fixed and contented but what a woman can\u2019t knock his old Paradise into \u2018ash with one punch.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018It wasn\u2019t long before I begin to notice a change in Jerry. He never had been what you\u2019d call a champion catch-as-catch-can talker, but now he was silenter than ever. And he got a habit of switching Gentleman off from his theories on Life in general to Woman in particular. This suited Gentleman just right. What he didn\u2019t know about Woman wasn\u2019t knowledge.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Gentleman was too busy talking to have time to get suspicious, but I wasn\u2019t; and one day I draws Gentleman aside and puts it to him straight. \u201cGentleman,\u201d I says, \u201cJerry Moore is in love!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well, this was a nasty knock, of course, for Gentleman. He knew as well as I did what it would mean if Jerry was to lead home a blushing bride through that front door. It would be outside into the cold, hard world for the bachelor friends. Gentleman sees that quick, and his jaw drops. I goes on. \u201cAll the time,\u201d I says, \u201cthat you\u2019re talking away of an evening, Jerry\u2019s seeing visions of a little woman sitting in your chair. And you can bet we don\u2019t enter into them visions. He may dream of little feet pattering about the house,\u201d I says, \u201cbut they aren\u2019t ours; and you can \u2018ave something on that both ways. Look alive, Gentleman,\u201d I says, \u201cand think out some plan, or we might as well be padding the hoof now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well, Gentleman did what he could. In his evening discourses he started to give it to Woman all he knew. Began to talk about Delilahs and Jezebels and Fools-there-was and the rest of it, and what a mug a feller was to let a female into \u2018is cosy home, who\u2019d only make him spend his days hooking her up, and his nights wondering how to get back the blankets without waking her. My, he was crisp! Enough to have given Romeo the jumps, you\u2019d have thought. But, lor! It\u2019s no good talking to them when they\u2019ve got it bad.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018A few days later we caught him with the goods, talking in the road to a girl in a pink dress.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I couldn\u2019t but admit that Jerry had picked one right from the top of the basket. This wasn\u2019t one of them languishing sort wot sits about in cosy corners and reads story-books, and don\u2019t care what\u2019s happening in the home so long as they find out what became of the hero in his duel with the Grand Duke. She was a brown, slim, wiry-looking little thing.\u00a0<em>You<\/em>\u00a0know. Held her chin up and looked you up and down with eyes the colour of Scotch whisky, as much as to say, \u201cWell, what\u00a0<em>about<\/em>\u00a0it?\u201d You could tell without looking at her, just by the feel of the atmosphere when she was near, that she had as much snap and go in her as Jerry Moore hadn\u2019t, which was a good bit. I knew, just as sure as I was standing there on one leg, that this was the sort of girl who would have me and Gentleman out of that house about three seconds after the clergyman had tied the knot.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Jerry says, \u201cThese are my friends, Miss Tuxton\u2014Mr Bailey and Mr Roach. They are staying with me for a visit. This is Miss Jane Tuxton,\u201d he says to us. \u201cI was just going to see Miss Tuxton home,\u201d he says, sort of wistful. \u201cExcellent,\u201d says Gentleman. \u201cWe\u2019ll come too.\u201d And we all goes along. There wasn\u2019t much done in the way of conversation. Jerry never was one for pushing out the words; nor was I, when in the presence of the sect; and Miss Jane had her chin in the air, as if she thought me and Gentleman was not needed in any way whatsoever. The only talk before we turned her in at the garden gate was done by Gentleman, who told a pretty long story about a friend of his in Upper Sydenham who had been silly enough to marry, and had had trouble ever since.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018That night, after we had went to bed, I said to Gentleman, \u201cGentleman,\u201d I says, \u201cwhat\u2019s going to be done about this? We\u2019ve got about as much chance, if Jerry marries that girl,\u201d I says, \u201cas a couple of helpless chocolate creams at a school-girls\u2019 picnic.\u201d \u201cIf,\u201d says Gentleman. \u201cHe ain\u2019t married her yet. That is a girl of character, Jack. Trust me. Didn\u2019t she strike you as a girl who would like a man with a bit of devil in him, a man with some go in him, a you-be-darned kind of man? Does Jerry fill the bill? He\u2019s more like a doormat with \u2018Welcome\u2019 written on it, than anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well, we seen a good deal of Miss Jane in the next week or so. We keeps Jerry under\u2014what\u2019s it the heroine says in the melodrama? \u201cOh, cruel, cruel, S.P. something.\u201d Espionage, that\u2019s it. We keeps Jerry under espionage, and whenever he goes trickling round after the girl, we goes trickling round after him.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dThings is running our way,\u201d says Gentleman to me, after one of these meetings. \u201cThat girl is getting cross with Jerry. She wants Reckless Rudolf, not a man who stands and grins when other men butt in on him and his girl. Mark my words, Jack. She\u2019ll get tired of Jerry, and go off and marry a soldier, and we\u2019ll live happy ever after.\u201d \u201cThink so?\u201d I says. \u201cSure of it,\u201d said Gentleman.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018It was the Sunday after this that Jerry Moore announces to us, wriggling, that he had an engagement to take supper with Jane and her folks. He\u2019d have liked to have slipped away secret, but we was keeping him under espionage too crisp for that, so he has to tell us. \u201cExcellent,\u201d said Gentleman. \u201cIt will be a great treat to Jack and myself to meet the family. We will go along with you.\u201d So off we all goes, and pushes our boots in sociable fashion under the Tuxton table. I looked at Miss Jane out of the corner of my eye; and, honest, that chin of hers was sticking out a foot, and Jerry didn\u2019t dare look at her. Love\u2019s young dream, I muses to myself, how swift it fades when a man has the nature and disposition of a lop-eared rabbit!<\/p>\n<p>\u2018The Tuxtons was four in number, not counting the parrot, and all male. There was Pa Tuxton, an old feller with a beard and glasses; a fat uncle; a big brother, who worked in a bank and was dressed like Moses in all his glory; and a little brother with a snub nose, that cheeky you\u2019d have been surprised. And the parrot in its cage and a fat yellow dog. And they\u2019re all making themselves pleasant to Jerry, the wealthy future son-in-law, something awful. It\u2019s \u201cHow are the fowls, Mr Moore?\u201d and \u201cA little bit of this pie, Mr Moore; Jane made it,\u201d and Jerry sitting there with a feeble grin, saying \u201cYes\u201d and \u201cNo\u201d and nothing much more, while Miss Jane\u2019s eyes are snapping like Fifth of November fireworks. I could feel Jerry\u2019s chances going back a mile a minute. I felt as happy as a little child that evening. I sang going back home.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Gentleman\u2019s pleased, too. \u201cJack,\u201d he says to me when we\u2019re in bed, \u201cthis is too easy. In my most sanguinary dreams I hardly hoped for this. No girl of spirit\u2019s going to love a man who behaves that way to her parents. The way to win the heart of a certain type of girl,\u201d he says, beginning on his theories, \u201cthe type to which Jane Tuxton belongs, is to be rude to her family. I\u2019ve got Jane Tuxton sized up and labelled. Her kind wants her folks to dislike her young man. She wants to feel that she\u2019s the only one in the family that\u2019s got the sense to see the hidden good in Willie. She doesn\u2019t want to be one of a crowd hollering out what a nice young man he is. It takes some pluck in a man to stand up to a girl\u2019s family, and that\u2019s what Jane Tuxton is looking for in Jerry. Take it from one who has studied the sect,\u201d says Gentleman, \u201cfrom John o\u2019 Groat\u2019s to Land\u2019s End, and back again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Next day Jerry Moore\u2019s looking as if he\u2019d only sixpence in the world and had swallowed it. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Jerry?\u201d says Gentleman. Jerry heaves a sigh. \u201cBailey,\u201d he says, \u201cand you, Mr Roach, I expect you both seen how it is with me. I love Miss Jane Tuxton, and you seen for yourselves what transpires. She don\u2019t value me, not tuppence.\u201d \u201cSay not so,\u201d says Gentleman, sympathetic. \u201cYou\u2019re doing fine. If you knew the sect as I do you wouldn\u2019t go by mere superficial silences and chin-tiltings. I can read a girl\u2019s heart, Jerry,\u201d he says, patting him on the shoulder, \u201cand I tell you you\u2019re doing fine. All you want now is a little rapid work, and you win easy. To make the thing a cert,\u201d he says, getting up, \u201call you have to do is to make a dead set at her folks.\u201d He winks at me. \u201cDon\u2019t just sit there like you did last night. Show \u2019em you\u2019ve got something in you. You know what folks are: they think themselves the most important things on the map. Well, go to work. Consult them all you know. Every opportunity you get. There\u2019s nothing like consulting a girl\u2019s folks to put you in good with her.\u201d And he pats Jerry on the shoulder again and goes indoors to find his pipe.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Jerry turns to me. \u201cDo you think that\u2019s really so?\u201d he says. I says, \u201cI do.\u201d \u201cHe knows all about girls, I reckon,\u201d says Jerry. \u201cYou can go by him every time,\u201d I says. \u201cWell, well,\u201d says Jerry, sort of thoughtful.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>The waiter paused. His eye was sad and dreamy. Then he took up the burden of his tale.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018First thing that happens is that Gentleman has a sore tooth on the next Sunday, so don\u2019t feel like coming along with us. He sits at home, dosing it with whisky, and Jerry and me goes off alone.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018So Jerry and me pikes off, and once more we prepares to settle down around the board. I hadn\u2019t noticed Jerry particular, but just now I catches sight of his face in the light of the lamp. Ever see one of those fighters when he\u2019s sitting in his corner before a fight, waiting for the gong to go? Well, Jerry looks like that; and it surprises me.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I told you about the fat yellow dog that permeated the Tuxton\u2019s house, didn\u2019t I? The family thought a lot of that dog, though of all the ugly brutes I ever met he was the worst. Sniffing round and growling all the time. Well, this evening he comes up to Jerry just as he\u2019s going to sit down, and starts to growl. Old Pa Tuxton looks over his glasses and licks his tongue. \u201cRover! Rover!\u201d he says, kind of mild. \u201cNaughty Rover; he don\u2019t like strangers, I\u2019m afraid.\u201d Jerry looks at Pa Tuxton, and he looks at the dog, and I\u2019m just expecting him to say \u201cNo\u201d or \u201cYes\u201d, same as the other night, when he lets out a nasty laugh\u2014one of them bitter laughs. \u201cHo!\u201d he says. \u201cHo! don\u2019t he? Then perhaps he\u2019d better get further away from them.\u201d And he ups with his boot and\u2014well, the dog hit the far wall.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Jerry sits down and pulls up his chair. \u201cI don\u2019t approve,\u201d he says, fierce, \u201cof folks keeping great, fat, ugly, bad-tempered yellow dogs that are a nuisance to all. I don\u2019t like it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018There was a silence you could have scooped out with a spoon. Have you ever had a rabbit turn round on you and growl? That\u2019s how we all felt when Jerry outs with them crisp words. They took our breath away.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018While we were getting it back again the parrot, which was in its cage, let out a squawk. Honest, I jumped a foot in my chair.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Jerry gets up very deliberate, and walks over to the parrot. \u201cIs this a menagerie?\u201d he says. \u201cCan\u2019t a man have supper in peace without an image like you starting to holler? Go to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018We was all staring at him surprised, especially Uncle Dick Tuxton, whose particular pet the parrot was. He\u2019d brought him home all the way from some foreign parts.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dHello, Billy!\u201d says the bird, shrugging his shoulders and puffing himself up. \u201cR-r-r-r! R-r-r-r! \u2018lo, Billy! \u2018lo, \u2018lo, \u2018lo! R-r WAH!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Jerry gives its cage a bang.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dDon\u2019t talk back at me,\u201d he says, \u201cor I\u2019ll knock your head off. You think because you\u2019ve got a green tail you\u2019re someone.\u201d And he stalks back to his chair and sits glaring at Uncle Dick.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Well, all this wasn\u2019t what you might call promoting an easy flow of conversation. Everyone\u2019s looking at Jerry, \u2018specially me, wondering what next, and trying to get their breath, and Jerry\u2019s frowning at the cold beef, and there\u2019s a sort of awkward pause. Miss Jane is the first to get busy. She bustles about and gets the food served out, and we begins to eat. But still there\u2019s not so much conversation that you\u2019d notice it. This goes on till we reaches the concluding stages, and then Uncle Dick comes up to the scratch.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dHow is the fowls, Mr Moore?\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dGimme some more pie,\u201d says Jerry. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Uncle Dick repeats his remark.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dFowls?\u201d says Jerry. \u201cWhat do you know about fowls? Your notion of a fowl is an ugly bird with a green tail, a Wellington nose, and\u2014gimme a bit of cheese.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Uncle Dick\u2019s fond of the parrot, so he speaks up for him. \u201cPolly\u2019s always been reckoned a handsome bird,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dHe wants stuffing,\u201d says Jerry.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018And Uncle Dick drops out of the talk.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Up comes big brother, Ralph his name was. He\u2019s the bank-clerk and a dude. He gives his cuffs a flick, and starts in to make things jolly all round by telling a story about a man he knows named Wotherspoon. Jerry fixes him with his eye, and, half-way through, interrupts.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dThat waistcoat of yours is fierce,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dPardon?\u201d says Ralph.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dThat waistcoat of yours,\u201d says Jerry. \u201cIt hurts me eyes. It\u2019s like an electric sign.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dWhy, Jerry,\u201d I says, but he just scowls at me and I stops.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Ralph is proud of his clothes, and he isn\u2019t going to stand this. He glares at Jerry and Jerry glares at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dWho do you think you are?\u201d says Ralph, breathing hard.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dButton up your coat,\u201d says Jerry.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dLook \u2018ere!\u201d says Ralph.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dCover it up, I tell you,\u201d says Jerry. \u201cDo you want to blind me?\u201d Pa Tuxton interrupts.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dWhy, Mr Moore,\u201d he begins, sort of soothing; when the small brother, who\u2019s been staring at Jerry, chips in. I told you he was cheeky.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018He says, \u201cPa, what a funny nose Mr Moore\u2019s got!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018And that did it. Jerry rises, very slow, and leans across the table and clips the kid brother one side of the ear-\u2018ole. And then there\u2019s a general imbroglio, everyone standing up and the kid hollering and the dog barking.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dIf you\u2019d brought him up better,\u201d says Jerry, severe, to Pa Tuxton, \u201cthis wouldn\u2019t ever have happened.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Pa Tuxton gives a sort of howl.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dMr Moore,\u201d he yells, \u201cwhat is the meaning of this extraordinary behaviour? You come here and strike me child\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Jerry bangs on the table.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dYes,\u201d he says, \u201cand I\u2019d strike him again. Listen to me,\u201d he says. \u201cYou think just because I\u2019m quiet I ain\u2019t got no spirit. You think all I can do is to sit and smile. You think\u2014Bah! You aren\u2019t on to the hidden depths in me character. I\u2019m one of them still waters that runs deep. I\u2019m\u2014Here, you get out of it! Yes, all of you! Except Jane. Jane and me wants this room to have a private talk in. I\u2019ve got a lot of things to say to Jane. Are you going?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I turns to the crowd. I was awful disturbed. \u201cYou mustn\u2019t take any notice,\u201d I says. \u201cHe ain\u2019t well. He ain\u2019t himself.\u201d When just then the parrot cuts with another of them squawks. Jerry jumps at it.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dYou first,\u201d he says, and flings the cage out of the window. \u201cNow you,\u201d he says to the yellow dog, putting him out through the door. And then he folds his arms and scowls at us, and we all notice suddenly that he\u2019s very big. We look at one another, and we begins to edge towards the door. All except Jane, who\u2019s staring at Jerry as if he\u2019s a ghost.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dMr Moore,\u201d says Pa Tuxton, dignified, \u201cwe\u2019ll leave you. You\u2019re drunk.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dI\u2019m not drunk,\u201d says Jerry. \u201cI\u2019m in love.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dJane,\u201d says Pa Tuxton, \u201ccome with me, and leave this ruffian to himself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dJane,\u201d says Jerry, \u201cstop here, and come and lay your head on my shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dJane,\u201d says Pa Tuxton, \u201cdo you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dJane,\u201d says Jerry, \u201cI\u2019m waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u2018She looks from one to the other for a spell, and then she moves to where Jerry\u2019s standing.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018\u201dI\u2019ll stop,\u201d she says, sort of quiet.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018And we drifts out.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>The waiter snorted.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I got back home quick as I could,\u2019 he said, \u2018and relates the proceedings to Gentleman. Gentleman\u2019s rattled. \u201cI don\u2019t believe it,\u201d he says. \u201cDon\u2019t stand there and tell me Jerry Moore did them things. Why, it ain\u2019t in the man. \u2018Specially after what I said to him about the way he ought to behave. How could he have done so?\u201d Just then in comes Jerry, beaming all over. \u201cBoys,\u201d he shouts, \u201ccongratulate me. It\u2019s all right. We\u2019ve fixed it up. She says she hadn\u2019t known me properly before. She says she\u2019d always reckoned me a sheep, while all the time I was one of them strong, silent men.\u201d He turns to Gentleman\u2014\u2019<\/p>\n<p>The man at the other end of the room was calling for his bill.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018All right, all right,\u2019 said the waiter. \u2018Coming! He turns to Gentleman,\u2019 he went on rapidly, \u2018and he says, \u201cBailey, I owe it all to you, because if you hadn\u2019t told me to insult her folks\u2014\u201d\u2018<\/p>\n<p>He leaned on the traveller\u2019s table and fixed him with an eye that pleaded for sympathy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201dOw about that?\u2019 he said. \u2018Isn\u2019t that crisp? \u201cInsult her folks!\u201d Them was his very words. \u201cInsult her folks.\u201d\u2018<\/p>\n<p>The traveller looked at him inquiringly.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Can you beat it?\u2019 said the waiter.<\/p>\n<p>\u2018I don\u2019t know what you are saying,\u2019 said the traveller. \u2018If it is important, write it on a slip of paper. I am stone-deaf.\u2019<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">Best P. G. Wodehouse Books to Read<\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3RZuSCz\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/46REPG6\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3tpctEL\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3RUqCUN\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><\/a><br \/>\nClick on the image to buy a copy<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse, you can also read <a href=\"https:\/\/quizlit.org\/death-at-the-excelsior-by-p-g-wodehouse\">Death at the Excelsior by P. G. Wodehouse here on Quizlit<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Narrated by Mike Harris, courtesy of Librivox<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse was published in 1914. It appears in the collection The Man Upstairs and Other Stories. This post may contain affiliate links that earn us a commission at no extra cost to you. By Advice of Counsel by P. G. Wodehouse By Advice of Counsel by P. G. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":2659,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bookreviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2658"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2659"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}