The author suffered sexual abuse at the hands of Mr. Jay, a next-door neighbor and trusted family friend. The assaults began before the Hettes started kindergarten and continued for years. The psychological fallout from such \u201ccapital-T Trauma\u201d was profound\u2014as an adult, the author became a relentless workaholic, precluding genuine intimacy or authentic friendship with others. In fact, the aftermath of her trauma, more than the abuse itself, turned out to be the deepest and most abiding source of her pain, a terrifying insight conveyed by the author with admirable candor and lucidity in this affecting memoir. Years later, after earning a doctorate in neuroscience and becoming assistant dean of a prestigious pre-med program, a colleague\u2019s \u201cdyspeptic rant\u201d and a fellow dean\u2019s mealy mouthed response to it prompted Hettes to reveal to her colleagues that she was the survivor of sexual abuse. Reeling from yet another episode of \u201crevictimization,\u201d the author sought the help of a therapist, Piper Manna, determined to overcome the \u201cmountains of self-revulsion, hatred, and shame\u201d her tormentor had left her with. Hettes\u2019 writing verges on the poetic as she describes the heartbreaking fear that her suffering is permanent: \u201cPerhaps, our pasts are not words on a page, but rather tattoos on our minds and hearts. Thus, we are marked\u2014as abused, as violated, as victimized\u2014with ink that permeates every tissue layer.\u201d The narrative is bolstered by Manna\u2019s fascinating insights into the human psyche and the author\u2019s expert knowledge of the human brain (she fascinatingly details the strain her self-castigation put on her limbic system). While often challenging to read, given the grim nature of the abuse, the memoir includes moments of humor and hope, and it is inspiring to chart Hettes\u2019 journey from despair to a degree in \u201cself-studies.\u201d <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The author suffered sexual abuse at the hands of Mr. Jay, a next-door neighbor and trusted family friend. The assaults began before the Hettes started kindergarten and continued for years. The psychological fallout from such \u201ccapital-T Trauma\u201d was profound\u2014as an adult, the author became a relentless workaholic, precluding genuine intimacy or authentic friendship with others. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":2935,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2934","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2934"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2934"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2934\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}