{"id":5399,"date":"2026-01-15T12:25:00","date_gmt":"2026-01-15T12:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=5399"},"modified":"2026-01-15T12:25:00","modified_gmt":"2026-01-15T12:25:00","slug":"three-times-a-mourner-by-fredricka-r-maister","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=5399","title":{"rendered":"Three Times a Mourner by Fredricka R. Maister"},"content":{"rendered":"

A touching examination of life-changing loss and the long road toward something like closure<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In a moving triptych of loss and recovery, Fredricka R. Maister chronicles the three significant losses that have shaped her life. She frames them with a final series of reflections that acknowledge how far she\u2019s come in facing the deaths of her father, boyfriend, and mother. Three Times a Mourner: Personal Essays on Grief and Healing<\/em> digs deep into how the loss of loved ones changes you permanently.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s striking to see Maister shut out of the grieving process as a child in the 1960s when her father died suddenly at age 54. The prevailing theory was that not talking about death shielded kids from these hard feelings. At the same time, talking frequently and freely about Richard\u2019s murder with other survivors of violent crime when she was an adult\u2014while better in some ways\u2014still didn\u2019t give Maister a quick and clear path to \u201cclosure.\u201d Even the \u201cgood\u201d death of her mother\u2014of old age, basically\u2014left Maister feeling unmoored again. Through it all, Maister struggles to cope, and her self-examination is heartening for anyone facing similar losses.<\/p>\n

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The essays are subtly affecting, if sometimes surprisingly brief. The through-lines of anger, abandonment and loss, despite the fact that each passing couldn\u2019t be more different in the details, are clear. Maister\u2019s work is illustrative for anyone meandering through their own grief journey. Her reflective voice is welcoming and yet brutally honest. She makes room for readers to sit and feel their feelings as she has learned to do.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to think someone gifted with words can handily write through hard times. Yet Maister shows that none of us is spared from struggling with this experience, even if we are all unique in our grieving needs. Her multidisciplinary approach to mourning included Jewish rituals, retreats, a DIY memorial for Richard at Bear Mountain north of New York City, therapy, support groups, and simply writing. The path remains the same\u2014that is, inconsistent, full of good days and bad days, and most years better than the one before. And every once in a while, there\u2019s a glimmer of hope, of joy, and of happiness that life does go on, and we take those loved ones with us in our hearts.<\/p>\n

Maister combines these essays into a cohesive and meditative collection that readers may want to return to during hard times. If Maister can come to terms with such heavy losses, it means there\u2019s hope that the rest of us can, too.<\/p>\n

The post Three Times a Mourner by Fredricka R. Maister<\/a> appeared first on Independent Book Review<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A touching examination of life-changing loss and the long road toward something like closure In a moving triptych of loss and recovery, Fredricka R. Maister chronicles the three significant losses that have shaped her life. She frames them with a final series of reflections that acknowledge how far she\u2019s come in facing the deaths of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bookreviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5399"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5399"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5399\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}