Ever had one of those vacations where everything just goes spectacularly wrong? You know, the kind where you\u2019re like, \u201cWell, at least the sun is shining\u201d? Yeah, about that\u2026<\/p>\n
M.J. Wassmer\u2019s debut novel, \u201cZero Stars, Do Not Recommend,\u201d takes that whole vacation-gone-wrong trope and cranks it up to eleven. Or should I say, down to zero? Because that\u2019s exactly what happens when the sun decides to call it quits right in the middle of what was supposed to be a relaxing getaway. Talk about a mood killer.<\/p>\n
Our protagonist, Dan Foster, is your average Joe. Well, below average if we\u2019re being honest (and he certainly is). He\u2019s the kind of guy who\u2019s coasting through life on a wave of mediocrity, armed with a closet full of regrets<\/a> and a pocket full of unfulfilled potential. But hey, at least he\u2019s got a girlfriend who\u2019s way out of his league, right?<\/p>\n Dan and said girlfriend, Mara, decide to treat themselves to a luxurious vacation at the Tizoc Grand Islands Resort and Spa. It\u2019s all fun and games, cocktails and lazy rivers, until poof<\/em>\u2014the sun goes kaput. And just like that, paradise becomes a playground for the worst aspects of human nature<\/a>.<\/p>\n Wassmer doesn\u2019t waste any time diving into the meat of the story. As soon as the lights go out (quite literally), the resort becomes a microcosm of society, complete with all its ugly hierarchies and power struggles. The elite guests from Building A, led by the insufferably perky Lilyanna Collins (think MLM boss babe meets dictator), quickly seize control of the island\u2019s resources.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, our man Dan finds himself caught in the middle of an impromptu revolution. It\u2019s like \u201cLord of the Flies\u201d meets \u201cThe White Lotus,\u201d with a dash of \u201cSurvivor\u201d thrown in for good measure. And let me tell you, it\u2019s a wild ride.<\/p>\n What makes this book truly shine (pun absolutely intended) is Wassmer\u2019s ability to balance the absurdity of the situation with genuine character development. Dan\u2019s journey from a self-proclaimed \u201cuseless piece of shit\u201d to an unlikely hero is both hilarious and oddly touching.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not often you find yourself rooting for a protagonist who describes himself as \u201cdumb and lazy,\u201d but here we are. Dan\u2019s self-deprecating humor<\/a> and painfully relatable insecurities make him an endearing mess of a human being. You can\u2019t help but cheer him on as he fumbles his way through one ridiculous situation after another.<\/p>\n Wassmer populates his fictional island with a colorful cast of characters that bring the story to life:<\/p>\n Mara:<\/strong> Dan\u2019s better half in every sense of the word. She\u2019s smart, compassionate, and probably wondering why she\u2019s dating Dan. (Aren\u2019t we all, Mara?) Each character feels fully realized, with their own quirks, motivations, and arcs that intertwine in unexpected ways. It\u2019s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, but you can\u2019t look away because the passengers are just so darn interesting.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s talk about the humor, because boy, does this book have it in spades. Wassmer\u2019s writing style is sharp, witty, and unafraid to go for the jugular. The dialogue crackles with energy, peppered with one-liners that\u2019ll have you snorting your beverage of choice.<\/p>\n But what\u2019s truly impressive is how Wassmer manages to find humor in even the darkest moments. It\u2019s a delicate balance, using comedy to address serious themes like class inequality, human nature, and existential dread. But somehow, it works. You\u2019ll find yourself laughing one moment and contemplating the fragility of society the next.<\/p>\n Dan\u2019s internal monologues, which are a perfect blend of self-loathing and observational humor Don\u2019t let the humor fool you, though. \u201cZero Stars, Do Not Recommend\u201d has some serious things to say about human nature, social structures, and how we behave when the chips are down (or in this case, when the sun goes out).<\/p>\n Wassmer explores themes of:<\/p>\n Class divide and how quickly society can devolve into \u201cus vs. them\u201d mentality It\u2019s like holding up a funhouse mirror to our own society \u2013 the reflection might be distorted, but there\u2019s an uncomfortable truth hiding beneath the surface.<\/p>\n No vacation is perfect, and no book is either. While \u201cZero Stars, Do Not Recommend\u201d is a strong debut, there are a few areas where it could have been tightened up:<\/p>\n The pacing in the middle section occasionally drags, with a few too many back-and-forth power struggles These are minor quibbles, though, in what is otherwise a thoroughly enjoyable read.<\/p>\n Despite its title, \u201cZero Stars, Do Not Recommend\u201d is anything but a vacation disaster. M.J. Wassmer has crafted a debut novel that\u2019s equal parts hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprisingly heartfelt.<\/p>\n It\u2019s the kind of book that\u2019ll make you laugh out loud on one page and then pause to contemplate the nature of humanity<\/a> on the next. And isn\u2019t that what we all want from our post-apocalyptic beach reads?<\/p>\n So grab your sunscreen (or maybe your thermal underwear), pack your sense of humor, and get ready for a wild ride. Just don\u2019t blame me if you start eyeing your fellow vacationers suspiciously the next time you\u2019re at a resort. After all, you never know when the sun might decide to clock out early.<\/p>\nClass Warfare: Bahamas Edition<\/h3>\n
From Zero to\u2026 Well, Maybe Like a Three?<\/h3>\n
A Cast of Characters You\u2019ll Love to Hate (and Hate to Love)<\/h2>\n
\nLilyanna Collins:<\/strong> The villain you\u2019ll love to hate. Picture a CrossFit instructor with delusions of grandeur and a penchant for cult-like leadership.
\nRico Flores:<\/strong> The head of security with a chip on his shoulder and dreams of Hollywood stuntman glory. He\u2019s like a human embodiment of toxic masculinity, but with surprising depth.
\nAlan and Charles:<\/strong> The sweet couple that restores your faith in humanity\u2026 until they don\u2019t.
\nLenny and Gloria Fava:<\/strong> The Jersey deli owners with hearts of gold and mouths like sailors.<\/p>\nHumor in the Face of Oblivion<\/h2>\n
Some Standout Moments:<\/h3>\n
\nThe increasingly ridiculous \u201cPitch-In\u201d assignments handed out by Building A
\nAny scene involving Lenny Fava\u2019s attempts at strategic planning
\nThe absurd lengths people go to maintain a sense of normalcy (like holding a wedding) in the face of impending doom<\/p>\nMore Than Just Laughs<\/h2>\n
\nThe corrupting influence of power
\nThe role of community in times of crisis
\nSelf-worth and the pressure to live up to our potential
\nThe ethical dilemmas we face when survival is on the line<\/p>\nA Few Bumps in the Road (or Waves in the Ocean?)<\/h2>\n
\nSome of the secondary characters, particularly in Building C, could have used more development
\nThe \u201cbig twist\u201d regarding the nature of the island might be a bit too out there for some readers (but hey, we\u2019re already dealing with an exploding sun, so why not go all in?)<\/p>\nThe Verdict: Five Stars, Highly Recommend<\/h2>\n
Who Should Read This Book:<\/h3>\n