{"id":7313,"date":"2026-09-17T10:31:30","date_gmt":"2026-09-17T10:31:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=7313"},"modified":"2026-09-17T10:31:30","modified_gmt":"2026-09-17T10:31:30","slug":"who-we-used-to-be-by-julia-amante","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/?p=7313","title":{"rendered":"Who We Used to Be by Julia Amante"},"content":{"rendered":"

An empowering novel about finding purpose in the aftermath of a decades-long crumbling marriage<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Rachel has no complaints. In the suburbs of Southern California, she and Jeremy have managed to send their two children to college while maintaining their beautiful, cookie-cutter home and fairytale love story.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Rachel\u2019s domestic bliss implodes, however, on the evening of their twentieth wedding anniversary when Jeremy drops a bombshell. Decades after his first proposal, he offers Rachel a second one: a formal, year-long separation to rediscover themselves outside of their familial duties and, more pointedly, their marriage.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout Rachel and Rick, who would he be? All he\u2019d ever been was someone else\u2019s partner.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Jeremy feels lost in his identity as a family man, while Rachel has no interest in self-discovery. She knows exactly who she is: a doting wife, a giving mother, and a former collegiate swimmer turned local gym manager. Fully intent on seeing the separation through, Jeremy rebuffs Rachel\u2019s attempts at reunification.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In a fit of desperation, she barrels down memory lane toward an old high school boyfriend and his admirably self-possessed wife. Charmed by Rachel\u2019s vulnerability, they invite her over for dinner, to a family gathering, and then into their lives. As her world expands and her next anniversary nears, Rachel is forced to contend with her obligations to her marriage, new found family, and herself.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy life, my goals stopped when I met you. I chose that. I don\u2019t regret choosing you. But I disappeared inside that choice. I wanted to be your wife, the mother of your children.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Who We Used To Be<\/em>, like the best most women\u2019s fiction, is about the journey rather than the destination. A timeless tale of female self-empowerment following a crumbling, all-consuming marriage, the novel uniquely features a dual point of view from both wife and husband. Jeremy\u2019s alternating accounts, however, do not distract from Rachel\u2019s character arc or reduce her prominence in the narrative. His perspectives are few and far between and, fitting for Jeremy\u2019s character, come across as grating interjections. Rachel is the clear protagonist of the novel, and Jeremy serves to substantiate Rachel\u2019s experiences and proffer context for their sudden separation. His voice prevents him from devolving into a caricature, realistically humanizing him without quelling any ineluctable distaste.<\/p>\n

Rachel is a woman we have all been at various stages of our lives. She is genuine, kind, indecisive, and pained. Despite the gray of her situation, she desperately tries to protect her own morality. Her point of view is a pleasure to read and so is her journey toward self-actualization. It isn\u2019t simply her environment that changes but her personality. She is lighter, sassier, and bolder, and this evolution is most evident in her decomposing and deepening romances.<\/p>\n

\u201cHer fingers wove and unwove themselves, and her wedding ring, which she\u2019d never taken off, blinked at her.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

With a slight propensity for over-explaining, the writing ensures readers are never excluded from the story, always looped into the greater mood and significance behind each scene. Amante favors spelling out any introspection rather than relying on implication or interpretation. I can appreciate the directness of this writing style, but it can occasionally read as verbose without the minimalism typically suited for the genre. Amante\u2019s writing is at its strongest when dialogue flows freely. I found it easy to fly through pages when the characters and their emotions could breathe during conversation.<\/p>\n

About halfway through, Who We Used To Be<\/em> struggles under its own weight. Nearing 400 pages, the novel drags in the middle as it rehashes Rachel\u2019s same reservations and unbidden infatuation. It\u2019s like to waiting for a dear friend to end a doomed relationship. The cusp of an expiring relationship is a treacherous, lonely place to be, and while I empathize with the novel\u2019s realism, for pacing purposes, there may be an opportunity for brevity.<\/p>\n

Still, Who We Used To Be<\/em> hits all the right notes. Despite its heavy premise, it stands as a heartwarming summer read, with plenty of friendly characters and colorful relationships to soften emotional blows. The novel quickly pulls you into the frustration and suffocation of an intimate marriage, but Amante never loses sight of Rachel\u2019s individuality, delivering a cathartic journey that will have you cheering for Rachel alongside everyone else.<\/p>\n

The post Who We Used to Be by Julia Amante<\/a> appeared first on Independent Book Review<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An empowering novel about finding purpose in the aftermath of a decades-long crumbling marriage Rachel has no complaints. In the suburbs of Southern California, she and Jeremy have managed to send their two children to college while maintaining their beautiful, cookie-cutter home and fairytale love story.\u00a0 Rachel\u2019s domestic bliss implodes, however, on the evening of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bookreviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7313"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7313"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7313\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bookloves.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}