Last spring, I visited with schools in Charlotte, NC. My favorite part of any school visit, is the Q&A because the kids ask so many great questions! Invariably, someone will ask, “When’s your next book coming out and what’s it about?” I was eager to talk about my soon-to-be published book, Octopus Moon. Yet, I hesitated. Was its subject too tough?
Octopus Moon is a novel in verse about ten-year-old Pearl and her struggles with mental illness. The story chronicles her journey from crippling depression and anxiety to understanding and hope. Although she’s had depression even as a young child,she’s been able to keep her depression and anxiety at bay by running, skateboarding, and spending time with her BFFs, Rosie and Mia.
Until she couldn’t.
Friendships she’s always depended on, inexplicably change. Her older sister becomes distant. Having to remember locker combinations and class schedules overwhelms her.
And like the octopus in the aquarium where her mother works, with millions of touch receptors on their arms, Pearl feels everything. There is nothing between her and the suffering and confusion in the world. Pearl withdraws from her friends and family. She finds it hard to eat, sleep, and smile. Her coping mechanisms crumble.
Not exactly the stuff of rainbows and sparkle ponies.
I looked out at the sea of expectant faces, took a deep breath, and launched into Pearl’s story.
As the kids filed past me to go back to their classrooms, one boy lingered until everyone except his teacher was gone. He came up to me. “Miss Bobbie,” he said, “I need to read your octopus book. I’m depressed and I worry all the time.”
I put my arm around his shoulder and whispered, “I wrote the book for you.”
And, in many ways, I did. But I also wrote Octopus Moon for my ten-year-old self.
Like Pearl, I have battled the insidious mental illness of depression my whole life.
I was depressed even as a young child. I rarely slept. I was obsessed with death. At age five, I was certain my beloved beagle was dying, simply because his nose was dry. At age six, I woke my parents in the wee hours with this question: “Will everyone else die when I die?”
This was the early 60’s. No one talked about mental illness. And the idea of a child having chronic depression—inconceivable! I was labeled “overly sensitive,” “moody,” and “shy.” I was well into my twenties before I finally got the help I needed. A book like Octopus Moon would have meant I felt seen, and less lonely. It would have helped me make sense of what was “wrong” with me.
Many people feel kids should be protected from tough subjects like mental illness, sadness, death, homelessness. But the truth is, the world, for all its beauty and wonder, is heartbreaking and difficult. As we all know, E.B. White did not spare readers from this truth in Charlotte’s Web. And yet, that book continues to be read over and over, generation after generation.
Kids need the truth. It lets them know they are not alone in their feelings. It lets them know their sadness is ok. It expands their empathy, something this world sorely needs.
But along with the truth, kids (like all of us) need hope.
In Octopus Moon, I give Pearl things I didn’t have as a child. I give her a supportive family, steadfast friends, and a wonderful therapist. And, ultimately, I give her hope. On days when Pearl doesn’t understand her depression, she reminds herself of three things she does understand: her family will always love her, the ocean will always be there, and the moon, even when it’s just a sliver in the sky, is always full.
Kids are strong. Kids want the truth. Kids need to know what they feel is ok.
The kids will be alright.
Bobbie Pyron has worked in libraries and bookstores in North Carolina, Tennessee, and Utah and has been active in local animal rescue work for many years. She’s the author of A Pup Called Trouble, A Dog’s Way Home, and Stay. Bobbie lives in Ashville, NC, with her husband, Todd, and their dog, Sherlock. Visit her at www.bobbiepyron.com.