Dolly Alderton’s debut novel “Ghosts” arrived with considerable expectations. Known for her memoir “Everything I Know About Love” and her popular podcast “The High Low,” Alderton has established herself as a keen observer of millennial relationships. In “Ghosts,” she navigates the treacherous waters of modern dating with unflinching honesty and acerbic wit, delivering a story that is equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The novel follows Nina Dean, a 32-year-old food writer who seems to have everything sorted—a successful career, a newly purchased flat in London, and supportive (if occasionally dysfunctional) friends and family. When she meets Max on a dating app, their connection is intense and immediate. By the end of their first date, he boldly declares that he’s going to marry her. What follows is a whirlwind romance that seems too good to be true—because, of course, it is.
Alderton captures the peculiar anxieties of dating in one’s thirties with painful accuracy. Dating apps, ghosting, the biological clock ticking in the background—all the contemporary dating phenomena are presented with sharp insights and darkly comic observations.
Disappearing Acts and Modern Hauntings
The ‘ghosts’ of the title operate on multiple levels. Most obviously, there’s Max, who simply vanishes after telling Nina he loves her. His ghosting is merciless and unexplained—a commonplace but devastating phenomenon of modern dating. But other ghosts pervade the narrative as well: Nina’s father is slowly disappearing into dementia, her childhood friends are vanishing into suburbia, and her sense of youth and possibility is fading with each passing year.
Alderton writes about ghosting not just as a contemporary dating nuisance but as a metaphor for all kinds of abandonment and loss:
“Every time you ‘change your mind’ in such an extreme way, it takes something from a woman. It’s an act of theft. It’s not just a theft of her trust, it’s a theft of her time. You’ve taken things from her, so you could have a fun few months.”
The novel excels in its depiction of the emotional labor women perform in relationships—both romantic and platonic—and the mental health toll of being “deleted” by someone you’ve invested in emotionally.
Intergenerational Bonds and Breaking Points
Beyond the central romance, “Ghosts” by Dolly Alderton shines in its portrayal of intergenerational relationships. Nina’s relationship with her father, who is suffering from dementia, provides some of the most touching moments in the book. As his memories begin to slip away, Nina becomes the keeper of their shared history:
“So much of the love you feel for a person is dependent on the vast archive of shared memories you can access just by seeing their face or hearing their voice. When I saw Dad, I didn’t just see a seventy-seven-year-old man with black-and-grey hair, I saw him in a swimming pool in Spain teaching me how to front crawl and I saw him waving at me in a crowd on graduation day.”
Meanwhile, Nina’s mother’s midlife crisis—including her insistence on being called “Mandy” instead of “Nancy”—provides comic relief, though it also reveals deeper truths about aging and identity. Their difficult relationship evolves touchingly throughout the novel as they navigate the challenges of caring for Nina’s father.
Friendships in Flux
The novel also offers a nuanced exploration of female friendship, particularly through Nina’s relationship with her oldest friend Katherine. As Katherine moves to the suburbs and builds her family, their friendship faces new strains. The dynamics of their relationship feel authentic—both supportive and competitive, warm and resentful.
Lola, Nina’s perpetually single friend, provides a counterpoint to Nina’s emotional journey. Her unwavering optimism about finding love—despite years of disappointment—contrasts with Nina’s growing cynicism. The friendship between the women is a highlight of the novel, demonstrating Alderton’s talent for capturing the unique language and rituals that develop between close friends.
Strengths and Weaknesses
What Shines:
Authentic Voice: Alderton’s prose is conversational, witty, and instantly recognizable to fans of her memoir. Her knack for dialogue brings her characters vividly to life.
Cultural Observations: The novel cleverly dissects millennial anxieties, from the pressure to achieve certain milestones by specific ages to the peculiar social dynamics of hen parties and baby showers.
Emotional Depth: Despite the humorous tone, Alderton doesn’t shy away from exploring profound themes like grief, abandonment, and the fear of running out of time.
Relatable Characters: Even at their most frustrating, the characters feel real. Nina’s flaws make her more relatable, not less.
Areas of Critique:
Predictable Plot Elements: Some narrative developments feel slightly formulaic for the genre, particularly in the romance department.
Occasional Tonal Unevenness: The novel sometimes struggles to balance its comedic elements with its more serious themes, particularly around dementia.
Supporting Characters: While the female friendships are well-developed, some male characters (particularly Max) could benefit from more nuance.
Pacing Issues: The middle section of the novel occasionally drags, before picking up momentum again for the final act.
A Literary Voice for the Millennial Generation
What sets “Ghosts” apart from other contemporary romance novels is Dolly Alderton’s literary sensibility. Her writing is peppered with cultural references and literary allusions that elevate the text. From musings on Picasso’s portraits of Marie-Thérèse Walter to reflections on Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” Alderton weaves intellectual threads throughout her narrative without sacrificing accessibility.
Her descriptions are economical yet evocative:
“He glowed like an ember – his eyes shining, his beard golden brown, his skin burnished from sunbeams. His tousled hair looked like it had been washed in the sea and dishevelled by the windy afternoon.”
And her observations about modern life are often both funny and profound:
“It was then I knew that there are a handful of situations that, regardless of how happy you are without a partner, loot your single status of all its splendour. One of them is dealing with a nightmare neighbour on your own.”
Final Verdict
“Ghosts” by Dolly Alderton is ultimately a book about the bittersweet reality of growing older. It’s about watching the people you love change—sometimes for better, sometimes for worse, sometimes disappearing altogether. It’s about watching yourself change too, and learning to embrace the person you’re becoming even when it’s not who you expected to be.
For readers who loved Alderton’s memoir, her novel delivers the same sharp observations and emotional honesty, now filtered through fiction. For those new to her work, “Ghosts” offers a perceptive, entertaining, and occasionally devastating portrait of modern love and friendship.
Fans of authors like Marian Keyes, Sally Rooney, and Nora Ephron will find much to appreciate in Alderton’s fiction debut. Like these writers, she excels at finding the profound in the mundane and the universal in the specific.
While not without its flaws, “Ghosts” announces Dolly Alderton as a fiction writer to watch—someone with a distinctive voice and an acute understanding of contemporary relationships. It’s a novel that will make you laugh, wince in recognition, and perhaps shed a tear or two. Most importantly, it will make you reflect on the various ways we haunt each other’s lives—whether we stay or whether we go.
Perfect for:
Readers navigating the dating landscape in their thirties
Fans of smart, female-centered fiction
Anyone who has ever been ghosted or feared being left behind
Those dealing with changing family dynamics or aging parents
Not for:
Readers seeking a straightforward happily-ever-after romance
Those looking for escapist fiction without real-world complications
People who prefer plot-driven rather than character-driven narratives
Like the best contemporary fiction, “Ghosts” by Dolly Alderton holds up a mirror to modern life—showing us not just who we are, but who we might become, and reminding us that sometimes the most important relationships are with the people who stick around, even when it would be easier to disappear.