Book Review: Navigating With Nerve

Reviewed by Tomi Alo

Be assertive, not forceful; a clear & easy guide to communicating the right way.

In Navigating With Nerve, psychologist and author Linton J. Khor shows us how to communicate with assertiveness and confidently navigate the myriad situations of our daily lives. 

The book serves as both an enlightening and encouraging guide for anyone looking to enhance their communication skills, set healthy boundaries, resolve conflict in a respectful way, and cultivate more meaningful relationships in their personal and professional lives. 

Khor begins by laying a solid foundation for understanding what exactly it means to be assertive—the benefits, when and where to be assertive, and how to effectively communicate needs and desires without being labeled as aggressive or passive. In today’s world, it’s easy to attribute assertiveness to another self-improvement buzzword or chalk it up to being forceful or firm. 

However, Khor makes us realize that to be assertive goes beyond possessing special traits or skills. It’s a lifestyle choice that requires developing a mindset that values open communication, mutual respect, and the ability to stand up for oneself while still considering the needs of others. As he aptly puts it, “Assertive communication is honest but kind, empathetic but firm, open but committed to your needs.”

Khor then goes on to explain how miscommunication, though inevitable in human interaction, can be managed effectively through assertive behavior. Misunderstandings arise from the diverse ways we process information, which is often shaped by our unique beliefs, backgrounds, morals, and values. Khor encourages readers to approach these differences with curiosity, sensitivity, and empathy rather than frustration or annoyance. He emphasizes the importance of active listening, emotional intelligence, body language, and assertive responses, and he discusses how these skills can be used to address misunderstandings with our loved ones or resolve conflicts in our workplace.

“For many people, things like standing your ground, managing your emotional reactions, negotiating, and finding a middle ground are daunting. Yet, to properly incorporate assertiveness into your life, these kinds of hurdles are crucial to overcome.”

Navigating With Nerve is a light, yet packed resource. The book is well-structured with short chapters, clear topics, and bullet points for easy reading. Khor’s tone is casual and friendly, almost like reading the exact (lengthy) blog post you’ve been searching for.

He takes the time to break down and explain different complex psychological concepts and provides readers with real-life scenarios, practical exercises and strategies that are easy to follow and suitable for anyone with a busy schedule. There are also tons of extra reading resources, daily worksheets, journal prompts, and more for readers to go even further in their research and journey.

This would be a useful tool to build on what you already know and to try new strategies. It is filled with reminders about the importance of self-awareness, intentionality, and empathy in communication. Khor’s advice doesn’t reinvent the wheel exactly but rather refines and reinforces tried-and-true principles in a way that feels approachable and actionable.

If you’re finding it hard to come across as assertive without being labeled as rude, aggressive, or being too “hard,” Navigating with Nerve is a simple but effective place to start—or continue, depending on where you are in your personal growth journey.

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