Book Review: You Are Not Broken by Melinda Zappone

Reviewed by Amy Brozio-Andrews

An enriching guide to self-reflection using tools developed by a trauma therapist who understands firsthand how devastating brokenness feels

Whether you consciously struggle to show up for the people you love and manage the slings and arrows that have come your way in life or you just have a vague feeling that life could be “better,” You Are Not Broken is an invitation to reorient how you connect with your inner world.

Author and expert Melinda Zappone assures us we all feel broken, even if we do a pretty good job of hiding it. But we don’t need to live that way. More importantly, she offers a path forward, one that affirms there are a lot of valid reasons why we do the things we do. We are not truly “broken” people, we want to avoid the emotional wounds that make us uncomfortable, like shame, fear or anger. Recognizing what triggers these discomforts and how we “got this way” allows us to step into our authentic selves and learn how to act instead of react in our relationships and make them more satisfying for both sides.

Deep self-examination can feel big and scary, but Zappone offers methods and strategies in her Toolbox Approach to healing to show that she’s truly been there and used them too.

Zappone identifies three phases of healing: narrative, reprocessing, and relational. This book helps readers establish a framework for self-assessment and next steps. Using examples from her own healing journey and those of others who have had their stories combine and identifying details changed, Zappone outlines and explores narrative healing tools through guided activities, including diagrams, lists of questions, and worksheets.

The writing can feel dense and thick at times if you’re not already familiar with the terms and concepts discussed, such as attachment injury, childhood wounds, parts work, Internal Family Systems, shadow work, and the Enneagram. Zappone is at her best when going through the mechanics of the tools and how they offer a chance to reconnect with your self.

Readers who are serious about self-improvement may experience some emotional heaviness while navigating some chapters and exercises. Reflecting on the lessons learned in your childhood family dynamic, how certain events influenced your beliefs about yourself, and how those lessons and beliefs affect your current relationships and decision-making can be fraught with doubt, shame, and grief.

Fortunately, Zappone’s tone and approach are consistently supportive. She encourages readers to work at their own pace and seek out additional support where needed, including through her other articles, course, and related offerings for those who want to continue their self-directed journey with her guidance.

Zappone is a worthy tour guide into the world of self-help. She is clearly caring, compassionate, and committed to helping others make meaningful progress in achieving their best lives.

Whether you use this book to begin your path to better mental and emotional clarity or you’ve already committed to this work and want to dig deeper on your own, You Are Not Broken gives you trustworthy practices for growth.

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