A moving, faith-filled exploration of loss caused by invisible illness
Despite her young age, Ellie Williams has already survived decades with a sneaky invisible illness. Being dismissed by doctors since age nine while experiencing devastating and debilitating symptoms that her family couldn’t fully understand, Williams struggles to carry on, leaning heavily on her family and her faith.
Finally, endometriosis is identified as the cause. And while that certainly isn’t the end of her medical challenges, it does restore a glimmer of trust in her own voice. She’s known something was wrong for years; finally, Western medicine acknowledges it. Reckoning with this unrecoverable time as well as the sudden death of her father, Williams experiences a pivotal moment in choosing to heal physically and spiritually from these losses. In her debut memoir Keep the Flowers: Tell the Healing You’re Coming Home, Williams not only chronicles her journey but also extends a hand in camaraderie and support to others suffering similar health concerns.
Keep the Flowers has a polish and stoicism well beyond Williams’ 26 years, but the author is at her best when glimpses of her personality shine through. The warmth of asides like Friends references and self-deprecating humor about turning down chips and queso before a meal are hidden gems of authenticity. They make Williams feel more like a friend sharing their story rather than a far-removed memoirist.
Overall, Keep the Flowers is a moving and introspective look at grief and loss, a multi-layered examination of the ripple effects of our bodies failing us, individually, as with an illness like endometriosis, and universally, as with old age and dying. The losses for Williams come in waves: first her health, then her father’s death, then her grandmother’s. Yet with a clear voice and conviction borne of love, wisdom, and faith, Williams demonstrates again and again how the journey forward is the same: grieving, accepting, and trusting in God’s purpose.
The through-line of flowers in Keep the Flowers deepens the richness of Williams’ experience. From the sympathy arrangements sent upon the death of her father to her grandmother’s refrain of “too much rain, not enough shine,” it becomes clear that, like the flowers, Williams will bloom again. What’s more, she believes we all can, after what feels like too much darkness and too much light, in a metaphorical reflection of Williams’ faith in Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection.
Some chapters are stronger than others. “The Museum of Keys” resonates with such clarity that it would make a wonderful stand-alone essay. “Come Home to Healing: Psalm 139” reflects her theological education and deep conviction as a woman of faith. It offers readers something to ponder and return to again and again, especially in the throes of unwellness.
In this regard, anyone experiencing a chronic invisible illness can draw strength and hope from Williams’ story, wherever you are on your diagnosis or healing path. There’s a comfort in Williams showing us how to hold space for ourselves in her Epilogue.
With an included list of holistic healing resources, Keep the Flowers is a worthwhile read for any of us struggling with symptoms we can’t explain and a Western medicine system that appears pretty quick to brush us off.
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