STARRED Book Review: Spin Cycle

Reviewed by Samantha Hui

A moving, heartfelt story about the realities of caregiving and the proclivity to long for the past

“I have decided that this must be some kind of unholy litmus test. A test that exposed my character, the raw pulp of who I really am—and I am failing that test.”

Strawberry ice cream, little fibs (fiblets), and cute animal videos on the good days; broken wrists, forgotten names, and outbursts on the bad. Alfredo Botello’s Spin Cycle: notes from a reluctant caregiver is an uninhibited, earthy look into the complexities of caring for a loved one who gradually becomes someone they didn’t used to be.

The novel adeptly explores unresolved trauma, caregiver guilt, and the difficult journey of coming to terms with both. Through this story of caregivers, readers are invited to reflect on what it means to love in an unfair world and care when the days feel as though they are filled with more tears than laughter.

“They aren’t kids, so just being and playing isn’t good enough. They aren’t ‘broken’ grown-ups as Sweet P said, yet we expect them to reason and remember like we grown-ups do. They’re something else, but our world hasn’t primed us for that, hasn’t told us it’s something worth loving and celebrating.”

Ezra Pavic finds comfort in the certainty of mathematics, prefers beating around the bush to speaking directly, and knows the pain and shame of failing despite doing everything right. When his once lively mother begins to lose her reading glasses, forget words, and even misplace her car in a Walmart parking lot, Ezra’s desire for certainty is shattered, becoming nothing more than a childhood fantasy. 

In an attempt to cope with his mother’s mental and physical decline, Ezra starts APPA—Adults Patiently Parenting Adults—a support group where he and his nine eccentric students process the trauma of caring for parents with dementia. But can someone who over-analyzes every situation to the point of inaction make the most important decision of his life?

The novel is structured nonlinearly, with Ezra confiding in his longtime friend Danny about his brief time running APPA. These conversations with Danny are interwoven with scenes from his sessions at APPA and his time with his mother in the assisted living facility. Alfredo Botello writes with exceptional precision, his prose engaging and purposeful, heartfelt without being overly sentimental. The characters are brutally real and flawed, yet always capable of redemption. This novel feels like sitting down with a close friend who needs to vent—a friend who will gradually bare their soul, no more, no less—as long as you’re ready to listen with an open mind and heart.

“All these years I had spent trying to get her to do things ‘right’ again, trying to ‘fix’ her, fix the dementia. How absurd. I just assumed she was the student, and I was the teacher. My imagination failed me. I was learning from her.”

Spin Cycle forces its readers to ask themselves a difficult question: If I were in the same position, would I have the grace and patience needed to care for a parent suffering from dementia? The book digs even deeper, suggesting that perhaps patience isn’t the most important quality when caring for a parent with dementia. With all the history, all the baggage, and all the resentment that comes with such a relationship, a regression of the mind doesn’t require looking to the past for answers. Readers are taken on a humanizing experience where they have no choice but to forgive themselves for their past crimes of impatience, frustration, and missed “I love yous.”

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