Book Review: I Was a Hero Once

Reviewed by Peggy Kurkowski

A raw and unapologetic memoir of anti-war activism and speaking truth to power

“I am not a hero because I served in Vietnam.” 

With these words, author and Vietnam War veteran Peter P. Mahoney puts the reader on notice. I Was a Hero Once does not traffic in clichés or patriotic platitudes. Rather, Mahoney celebrates his counterculture and progressive bona fides in this engrossing romp through an eventful “post-adventure life” after Vietnam.

In writing the memoir for his children, Mahoney says he also addresses the younger generation they represent, who will have “to deal with the mess of a world” left to them. It is his story of how he became who he is now, how he shed the macho martial legacy in his family by protesting his own war and finding peace and contentment in the present. 

While Mahoney’s life post-Vietnam was one of anti-war activism, his road to Vietnam followed prescribed rites of manhood. Following in the footsteps of his military fathers and grandfathers, Mahoney joined the Army in 1968: “I needed to prove myself, to establish my manhood in the quintessential American way: by participation in a war.” After two years that included language training and Officer Candidate School (OCS), Mahoney arrived in Vietnam in 1970 as an infantry lieutenant and advisor to South Korean military forces. 

After only eleven months in country but witness to numerous horrors, Mahoney returned to America in 1971 “a changed man, disgusted and disillusioned.” He was drawn to a group called Vietnam Veterans Against the War (VVAW), finding fellowship among other vets who could potentially understand how he was feeling.  From there, Mahoney took increasingly prominent roles within the organization as well as morally questionable actions like throwing red dye balloons at dignitaries of the United Nations. 

Mahoney’s reflections on being one of the Gainesville Eight, in which he was indicted along with other VVAW members for conspiracy to incite a riot at the 1972 Republican National Convention, are revealing in that they make connections with the Watergate scandal some might not expect. The Nixon administration feared the VVAW’s “violent intentions” and was a factor in the bugging of the Democratic National Committee offices, Mahoney suggests. From there, Mahoney relates his experiences in a variety of jobs from Wall Street to international aid worker, skillfully moving from past to present in alternating chapters that tie the author’s life together effectively. 

The power in Mahoney’s memoir is in its ability to elicit a reader immediately. He is a blunt and earnest narrator, matter of fact in places where others might gasp. For instance, his middle-finger chapter reflecting on Veterans Day and the “requisite platitudes” thanking veterans for their service is strong brew. Capitalism does not fare much better. However, where politics clashes with pragmatism, at least Mahoney is honest acknowledging it: 

“It is ironic the one ideal I never aspired to, the American Dream, is the one that I seem to have been most successful at.”

Mahoney is at his best when he turns his gaze inward, musing on his boisterous Irish upbringing or waxing philosophical on the nature of death and memory. His joy recounting falling in love again in his late-40s to a Russian woman and starting a family is palpable—including a closing letter to his children as a touching coda. 

I Was a Hero Once is an engaging memoir that tells a story not often celebrated in American history: the veteran anti-war activist. With this book, Mahoney adds his testimony to this unique historical hall of fame.

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