Book Review: The Full Catastrophe

Reviewed by Erin Britton

A powerful memoir on the fragility of belonging, the pull of family, and the potential of resilience

Casey Mulligan Walsh’s The Full Catastrophe is a story filled with deaths and lives, both those that were and that could have been.

Walsh has always wanted to be part of a happy, healthy, and functional family, although she seems to have been almost crippled by imposter syndrome in this regard. “Maybe I could fool them all into accepting me as the permanent, no-matter-what-happens family member and friend I longed to be.” Like many things, the reason for this lies in her unsettled and sometimes traumatic childhood.

Her father died of a congenital heart condition when she was eleven, while her mother had been ill for years with breast cancer. She died when Walsh was twelve. “Growing up with sick parents has taught me one thing—the only way forward is directly through whatever happens.” And that is exactly what she does, albeit sometimes fearfully and robotically.

The loss of both parents in quick succession is devastating. Looking back on her youthful thoughts and feelings from her adult perspective, Walsh brings out the conflicts and contradictions inherent in bereavement, especially when experienced at a young age: “I miss my dad, but since he died I’ve felt all twisted up with a mix of secret gratitude that it wasn’t my mother who had left me so suddenly and guilt for feeling that way.”

Time has given Walsh a sufficient distance to see things clearly now—both about her own action and beliefs and those of others. While assuredly portraying her own grief and uncertainty about the future, she also acknowledges how the deaths of her parents impacted those closest to her; they’re ill-equipped to comfort this bereaved young girl.

Following her mother’s death, Walsh is sent to live with her Aunt Esther in rural upstate New York, while her nineteen-year-old brother, Tommy, decides to remain in New Jersey. This plan is made with good intentions, but it marks the final fracturing of Walsh’s nuclear family. “There will be years stretching out ahead, crying myself to sleep in the dark of my room, grieving for all that is lost, the people I miss and the things I cannot yet name.”

And this loss is compounded just eight years later when Tommy dies suddenly of a heart attack caused by familial hypercholesterolemia, the same thing that killed their father. The two of them hadn’t seen each other much since Walsh went to live with Esther, but Tommy had always been an invaluable link to her past. “He’s been, like Dad, elusive, someone I want and need but who is perennially out of reach. Now he, too, will be permanently unavailable.”

With Tommy gone, the only constant in Walsh’s life is Will Simonson, her new husband. Marriage had long been her goal, even if it meant dropping out of college and pursing a much more constrained path in life. “I ride beside Will toward what feels like a whole new life. I can’t think of a single reason I’d want to look back.” A life with Will and his close-knit family seems to offer the security that Walsh craves.

Yet there are problems from the outset. As their family grows—first son Eric, then son Kyle, and daughter Katie—the troubles between Walsh and Will also grow. There are money troubles and interfering in-law troubles and alcohol troubles and more besides. “The more Will isn’t the husband and father I pictured, the more I try to control him.” But Will’s problems spiral.

Walsh’s descriptions of the coercive and financial control she endured are restrained but redoubtable, as are her memories of family events marred by recriminations and times spent walking on eggshells. She’s clear-sighted in discussing flaws, both Will’s and her own. These aspects of life often prove more upsetting than the aspects of death, and The Full Catastrophe makes plain the horror of Walsh’s contentious divorce and subsequent parental alienation.

And just when it seems she might have found purpose in a new career and solace in embracing spirituality, the other shoe drops. Eric, now grown but far from finding his path in life, is killed in a car accident. “I’ve been letting go of Eric for a very long time.” After all the other tragedies she has experienced, Walsh is still unprepared to lose a child. Her recollections of this time are raw and poignant.

Walsh’s ability to keep on going is impressive and inspirational, showcasing the strength of her spirit and the resilience of her character. Interestingly, resilience is a concept with complex meaning for her. With fate having left her with little choice but to keep pushing forward against adversity, she questions whether she could really be described as resilient and whether such a strong characteristic is an entirely good thing:

“I won’t hear the word ‘resilience’ until well into adulthood. I don’t yet know there’s a name for putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, whether you want to or not, whether you think the light at the end of the tunnel is help on its way or an oncoming train. I never consider that I could rebel, go off the rails in any one of a hundred ways.”

The Full Catastrophe is a memoir about burdens—those people are forced to carry and those they choose to shoulder—whether it be the burden of causing pain to someone or the burden of being left behind. Walsh has carried the pain of bereavement, the fear of loss, and the desperate desire for family and belonging, and she will continue to do so.

However, the fact that she has been able to manage so much is inspirational, even if she does not like to admit it, and her memories and reflections will serve as a light for others in the darkest of times. When there’s no escape from fate, sometimes the bravest thing is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. “Goodbye is something I dread but have learned all too well to understand.”

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