A beautifully poignant novel about a sixteen-year-old’s experience as a military kid who must confront—and heal—tragedy in her family
Merci is an Army kid, with both parents serving active-duty military. Because her mother is often deployed longer, Merci and her dad spend more time together and develop a close relationship by kayaking, connecting over art, and sharing the ins and outs of their days.
This time, however, Merci’s dad has been called to the front lines in Afghanistan—a potentially dangerous mission involving diplomatic work with village imams. Merci knows her father’s work is important, but she’s worried that he will be hurt. As they prepare for him to leave, they visit the PNW coast for one more “maiden voyage”using the kayaks they carved together. When they’re sitting on their condo’s deck, her father points to the night sky and says, “There’s our connection, Merci. No matter how far away I am, each night we share the same moon and the same stars.”
With both parents deployed at the same time, Merci lives with her grandmother, Gram, relying on emails to communicate with her parents. Her mother isn’t in a dangerous situation, so Merci worries more about her father, diligently checking for emails from him until, one day, his emails stop and the school counselor calls her to the office where Gram is waiting to deliver news: her dad had been in a military vehicle when it was blown up. Even though he lived, he suffered severe injuries and was currently in a German military hospital in an induced coma. While medical personnel believed his bodily injuries would heal, they were unsure what he would remember and how his personality would change after suffering traumatic stress.
Determined to help her father heal, Merci visits him in the hospital. When he first recognizes Merci, he says, “Why you c… c… cry?” Merci replies, “Because you know me.” He then looks around the room, searching for someone, saying “Sea…sea..”
Merci believes he’s talking about the ocean, yet as time passes and her father turns to alcohol to numb the pain, fears spark in her that he will never recover. She desperately searches for answers as to what happened in Afghanistan—eventually uncovering her father’s all-consuming, dark secret. With help from family and friends, Merci learns to confront her new reality, asking, “If Dad is not the dad I used to know, who is he? And how do I love the new him?”
This book delicately captures the difficulties military families face when their loved ones serve in war. Stricklin has clearly entrenched herself in the truths of military families and witnessed the impact military service has on them, including children. Active-duty military families will relate to Merci’s diligent checking of emails and the terrifying panic that ensues after a sudden silence in communication.
Even more, the friendships in the story are especially strong. While more might be desired from Frieda’s character, Dingo’s friendship brings lightness and joy, showing the true need for friendship during difficult times.
The novel’s real beauty lies in Stricklin’s ability to respectfully and carefully include sensitive subjects, including PTSD, alcoholism, attempted suicide, and parental abuse. Allowing readers to confront these hard emotions can bring a cathartic release.
Delicately balanced and beautifully written, this is a novel about tragedies active-duty military families face and the potential for survival and healing.
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